Infidelity

Infidelity - a violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of an intimate relationship, which constitutes a significant breach of faith or a betrayal of core shared values with which the integrity of the relationship is defined. In common use, it describes an act of unfaithfulness to one’s husband, wife, or lover, whether sexual or non-sexual in nature.

Regarding infidelity, my personal opinion is this - there really is no justification of it. If a person does not want a to commit to a relationship with 'mutually agreed-upon rules' then make it clear! if you do commit, but later change your mind or meet someone new, then finish your relationship. Simples really, but in reality people tend to want their cake and eat it so to speak, and want the best of both worlds, knowing full well that those involved are not as willing and wouldn't be so compliant.

However, I also think that some people do not set out to cheat - as the cliche 'it just happened' is so often used. I expect it must be difficult for those faced with a decision to choose between someone they have been with for a long time, lifestyle, routine and maybe even family, and the new person they may have very well fallen in love with. However, people need to consider what they are risking before things get too far, and before the decisions become difficult.

Infidelity just doesn't affect those directly involved, it also has a large impact on those around - friends of the couple, family, and of course, the children - both those in the relationship, but also those conceived during the affair. I think it is highly irresponsible and selfish to commit infidelity when there are children involved. Thats not to say I believe you should stay in an unwanted relationship, I just think it is more considerate and responsible to end a relationship, and then start the other one at a later date to minimise the impact on all those involved.

Here's a general overview of infidelity ,it offers some reasoning and explanations for infidelity, an also some common signs that an adulterous person may display!

Body Modifications!

Whilst I believe it is correct in saying that we all modify our bodies - be it by shaving, cutting or painting nails, or applying make-up, I feel it is also true to say that people are judged on these basic and common modifications in addition to the uncommon and 'extreme' modifications. Indeed, we judge peoples' hair colour and style, we judge clothes and makeup, and we all have an opinion on those who refuse to wash or shave! So it pretty much stands to reason that we will judge those who have extreme modifications like large body-covering tattoos, or multiple piercings that make you squirm with just the thought of them being done on yourself-whether you admire or are repulsed by such modifications, they are just another judgement of someone elses appearance that we make about everyone all the time, just maybe more-so because they are uncommon (relatively) and are bold statements.

I personally am in awe of some of the extreme modifications! Maybe not in awe, but I appreciate and admire them to some extent - I think they are fiercely courageous against the social stigma and judgements that are going to follow. I think many are artistic and have wonderful intricate details (with regards to tattoos), and I respect the amount of pain and the permanance of such decisions, but I probably wouldn't like to look at it all day and certainly I personally wouldn't like to be confronted for example, with a face full of tattoos and piercings in the mirror every day - its just not my style! As for individuality - I think althought the tattoo itself my be a personal, sentimental representation, the act of having these extreme mods are not unique, infact, the opposite, they are another popular trend or fashion to fit in within sub-communities or groups that we asign ourselves to. for example, the 'corset back' in one of the pictures would have been a unique idea for the very first person to design it and have it done, but not so for the many hundreds or thousands who have follwed suit.

Here is some stuff on exteme modifications to make the men squirm - discussing a 'nullo' - a man who chooses to have his genitalia, both testicles and penis, removed for aesthetic and sexual purposes. Apparently, one of the many reasons one may choose to do this, castration was common in 17th and 18th century Italy, and used to produce the famous castrati, valued for their high-pitched singing voice. Ooo eck!

Road Rage!!!!!!!!!!!

To all those drivers out there...put your hands up if you ever experience road rage?? Yes? thought so...indeed, even to the passengers, I'm sure many people have experienced road rage at one point. I do. Oh yes I do...I get really frustrated with learner drivers (even though I swore blind I wouldn't when I was learning to drive...), those who don't indicate, those who cut me up, and even the old folk who refuse to drive anywhere near the speed limit to the boy racers in their poxy old modified fiestas or corsas...just typing this gets me annoyed! However, I do not 'take it out on the car' in that I don't rev the engine, over take at great speed or drive aggressively or dangerously, I just rant and rave and curse (see previous post on swearing...)!

As ever, I googled 'road rage' expecting to find some good, detailed, relevant information on road rage which could make this blog post an interesting read, yet most of the links are for computer games and lyrics for a certain Dizzy Rascal track...however, I came across this site Drivers Revenge - Don't get Mad Get Even

Suprisingly, road rage has been listed as an official mental disorder in the DSM of Mental Disorders, with behaviours typically associated with road rage being the result of intermittent explosive disorder!

Tattoos!

I have always wanted to have a tattoo done, but to be honest, I'm a wimp! I have heard varying views - yes they hurt a lot, and, no they don't hurt at all - and nothing in the middle! And so far, I haven't had the courage to get one done. Part of this decision relates back to 'back in the day' as a young child where I would sit patiently in the waiting room while my mom would go for yet another pain enduring session of tattoo removal. I still remember hearing the endless 'thuds' of the laser shots coming from the room my mom was in, and recall seeing the blistered and bloody skin - and yet she would go back for more sessions until the tattoo was either very faint or gone completely...you see, back in the day, my mom was a biker rebel and had 2 very large tattoos, one on each arm...something she did not want later on in her adult life when she was in a professional career and her old life was in the very far past. Not everyone has the same views, and some would proudly show off their tattoos which represent something meaningful and sentimental to the person. But there is the flip side, and that is that some people regret having them done - and it is clearly evident by anyone who has had them removed, that it hurts far more than having them done, and you have to endure the removal process over a number of sessions.

I have nothing against tattoos - but if I ever had the guts to have one done, I would definitely consider the size and placement of the tattoo - something that can be easily covered up just in case I ever regret it. I also have a friend who has developed a liking for tattoos, and once flipantly said 'well I guess its just another form of self-harm, me constantly getting tattoos, but I don't need to face that now, and I really love the ones I have'- but, unfortunately, when they will need to face their issues, thats going to be an awful big confrontation.

Interested in tattoos? Here is a bit on tattoo-ology!

For Fuck Sake! Its all about Swearing and Bad Language

The above image demonstrates what words a perceived to be 'swear words' or not according to a survey...

Well. I would be a complete hypocrite if I were to claim that swearing and bad language is disgusting and there is no need for it - because I swear often! I am fully aware that I may offend some people, but to be honest, I'm not sure if I really care! It has pretty much become second nature, and I would go as far to say that swearing is part of my general spoken language! That's not to say that I constantly curse and deliver expetives, and, with further analysis, I would probably suggest that I swear more often when around friends than in front of strangers...and certainly more often when i'm annoyed or stub my toe on the door. Neither do I judge other people who swear - except for when it is a complete over-reaction, intended and aimed towards someone to insult them - then I would judge, maybe not so much for the swearing, but for the over all behaviour! However, I must be a hypocrite because I also judge people on the specific swear words they use...some words I just find too crude, which, I admit is ridiculous! for example, the c*** (I won't even spell it!)- there are other words to describe its meaning, per se, but this one is very much socially unacceptable.

It's pretty obvious why some words are offensive or considered crude, but some swear words such as 'bastard' simply refers to a child born out of wedlock...why are some words just not acceptable? Is swearing bad language? have a read, it generally discusses swearing, and a general history to swearing and bad language.

How swearing works gives a few more reasons as to why we swear, social responses to swearing and biological brain activity with regards to processing swearing,emotional responses to it and also swearing disorders!

Cosmetic Surgery!

Cosmetic surgery is becoming popular within society, but it wasn't so long ago it was associated with the rich and famous, and those with an extra few pennies to spare which normal folk couldn't afford...

But with lower prices, easier payment options (you can pay monthly, often with 0% interest!)and the quest for the body beautiful, many people are opting to go under the knife - from boob jobs to rhinoplasty, it is becoming a popular option.

There are those who feel that cosmetic surgery is a step too far, whilst others add that it is an awful practice. Is this because people are jealous that some can afford to, and, are couragous enough to go under the knife and have a wonderful result which improves physical appearance, but also boosts confidence and morale, whereas they themselves are too scared to do it? Or maybe just don't have a strong dislike about anything with their body to understand or empathise with those who do. I know a few people who have undergone cosmetic surgery and have been completely satisfied and happy with the result - not only has their physical appearance improved, but their self-confidence has rocketed!

I feel that the majority of people who undergo surgery do not do so flippantly and without any thought or consideration. It is a big step, and if people go through with it, they were clearly unhappy with something about themselves which triggered the desire for surgery.

However, the incidences of body dysmorphic disorder and pychological issues are very common, and are very much considered by doctors and surgeons regarding those who keep opting for the surgical route; for those where not only one surgical interference is enough, but many, and the road to perfection will never finish.

Michael Jackson, unfortunately, and also arguably, is just as renowned for his ever-changing appearance as he was for his music. His appearance has been slated, and some believe it is a case of cosmetic surgery gone too far. I think that when people become 'obsessed with surgery' or have psychological disorders which encourage reliance on surgery, doctors and the health profession have a duty of care, and should take some responsibility for the welfare of their patients. Of course people have a right to do whatever they like with their bodies, but those with psychological issues are not making choices with a sound mind and judgement and should be guarded against making choices which are often irreversible or at least have some scars.

Responses

PH1000...is being blogged - I would definitely agree with your statement that the clues are 'not always indicative of obsessive stalking, per se. Sometimes, they're merely evidence of terminal boredom' - but I think the clues stated are to be considered with the previous statement 'someone who is obsessed with someone else and stalks them on facebook. Not always noticable, but clues are...'. I don't think the clues are aimed at 'everyone on 'Friends' lists', but rather towards one particular person, which potentially, could develop into an obsession. Indeed, if you look at the 'clues' and disregard the 'obsessed with someone else and stalks them on facebook', then the clues could quite possibly describe the behaviour of many facebook users, including co-workers who have nothing better to do with their lives!

Facebook Stalking!

By definition, stalking is a constellation of behaviours in which an individual inflicts upon another repeated unwanted intrusions and communications(Mullen, 1999).

So technically, facebook stalking isn't really stalking in the literal sense, but (all you facebookers out there should relate!)facebook allows people to keep track of others, monitor other peoples opinions, feelings, personal details, pictures and general life story, with one thing that completely distinguishes itself from stalking - it is all with permission!

But wait, hang on...look what google produces (yet again, good old faithful google, how I adore you!)... Facebook Stalker definition! Of course there is! why the hell wouldn't there be...so here it is..
Someone who is obsessed with someone else and stalks them on facebook. Not always traceable or noticable, but clues are: wall posts replying to every status update, viewing every posted picture of the stalked, etc...

An individual who secretly looks up people on facebook, going through albums, comments and personal information to piece together a picture of this person. Potentially developing into an obsession.

It amazes me how much information people are willing to put on the internet, visible to anyone at all. I am a facebooker myself, but my profile is set to 'private', and only my friends (or acquaintances)are able to see it. It horrifies me to think that strangers could be looking at not only my photos, but basic information like date of birth, place of work, study etc...information which is only basic, but, is really not the business of people I do not know!

But here is some admission on my behalf, I regularly check other peoples profile - especially when the status changes from 'In a Relationship' to 'Single' to read all the drama - but its silly really - especially when I haven't seen nor spoken to that person for, say, 2 years!

This is a light hearted approach to the subject of facebook stalking, but, realistically, there is also a sinister side involving less sincere and genuine people. For example Peter Chapman killed 17 year old Ashleigh Hall after deceiving her using a fake profile. Whilst many people have positive stories to tell regarding facebook, there are those vulnerable members of society who may be at risk - not only from facebook, but other internet chat rooms and social sites, at risk to those people who use the internet as an easy means of manipulation and deception.

In response to Raiissah's Post on Gossiping!

In Raissahs' blog she has raised the topic of gossiping, and I have to agree...people gossip because it is fun!

But I think we gossip for other reasons as well - gossiping allows us to discuss trivial, subjective opinions and views, find out juicy information about other people and help us to form bonds and relationships in social situations.

But of course, much of the content is distorted in truth, either intentionally, or niavely, such as the effect of 'chinese whispers' or misinterpretation, and therefore, gossiping may lead to friendship fallouts or arguements!

I think that most of the time, gossiping is harmless, and allows us some relief from intellectual thinking and conversations. It gives us a chance to 'let off steam' and just enjoy a bit of chit chat about anything and everything!

As wikipedia is a site renowned for its subjectivity, falseness and misleading information, I thought it would be ironic to read its definition and information regarding gossiping!

Drugs and Crack Heads!

There is an arguement which fights for the right to take what ever drugs you like, be it alcohol, tobacco, cannabis to class A drugs, as long as you do not affect other people and their rights by your own actions. The approach tends to be 'if they're not hurting anyone else, why bother them?'...

Although I do not support the 'police state' and suffocating control government legislation already inflict on society, nor do I accept the above arguement. The idealistic intentions of government regulations and social policy is to protect the wellbeing and welfare of society - and therefore the affects of drugs, whether it be illegal, recreational drugs, or the misuse of prescription medication. The descent into drug abuse is not a simple process. There is no well informed and logical decisions made - there are many social, physical, emotional and psychological factors that play a large role in initiating drug abuse and it is the responsibility of government and healthcare professionals to protect users from this downward spiral. For example Drug Dependency and Society claim that in a survey they conducted, high percentage of young people using class A drugs were from vulnerable backgrounds (e.g. children having been in care, those who are homeless). Drug abuse disrupts a persons relationships with family and friends, daily functioning, e.g. work, school, home life, and contributes to poor mental and physical health. It is much more than just getting high!

But it is not only drug users who need to be protected, it is the other victims who are affected as a result of others drug abuse. There are strong associations between drug abuse, crime, anti-social and threatening behaviour,and the breakdown of communities due to public fear and intimidation effects of high crime and violence. The BBC News Article discusses some of the main points from research completed by the University of York stating that between £10.9 billion and £18.8 billion per year is the cost to society of drug related issues, with the majority of this devoted to dealing with drug related crime. Many people are affected, such as victims of drink/drug driving, robberies, burglaries and run down areas of society. It is not as simple to say 'if people take drugs and not affect anyone else, its ok..' inevitably there will always be victims, be it through the criminality of drug users, or by the users themsleves who have not had psychological, social, mental and emotional struggles identified and attended to.

However, I feel the government are not acting upon alcohol and tobacco consumption, and recently it has been highlighted not only how damaging they are to health and society, but also how harmful they are in comparision to other drugs. For example, alcohol and tobacco were judged to be more harmful than Class A drugs Ecstacy and LSD as indicated in this report by The Scientific Activist .As alcohol and tobacco is legal (just think of the high taxes the government are receiving for these!) it almost justifies and authenticates the consumption of these substances. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the odd tipple, but the odd drink in a social situation is a far cry from alcohol abuse...I feel there is a large contradiction with allowing these substances to be sold at low prices and offers, and are easily accessible e.g. from shops, pubs, restaurants, airports and trains etc, and then benefit from the added taxes, and then criticise the public, law enforcement and healthcare professionals when it costs large sums of money to compensate for the after effects. I believe the government are pretty much letting down the vulnerable members of society who suffer from substance abuse, and think mainly about how they can benefit from the economic advantages.

Outlaws and Bikers!

The Hells Angels have long had a fearsome reputation - rebels bikers embracing a life of criminality and are fearless of the law and those who enforce it, cruising on Harley Davidsons in gangs that ooze confidence, strength and pride in the band of brothers they have pledged themselves to. They have a website in which they defend themselves to be a 'Motorcycle club' not a gang, however, type into google 'Hells Angels' and there is a stream of articles, newspaper reports and documentaries examining the notoriety of the Motorcycle club, and the extensive list of crimes associated with them.

There is no doubt about it, they are a force to be reckoned with. They have groups, or charters, all over the world and are continually monitored by FBI and other law enforcers...but who are they and how do they work? Well, this article answers many of those questions, but nonetheless, they are still an illusive association, which I can't help but slightly admire!

I won't deny it, I would love to experience life, not only free from the burdens of government law and restrictions, but to fight it with a challenging force of fearless strength. I would like to be part of a close community, who respect you like family, and damn it, I would like a harley Davidson! There is something appealing about being part of a rebel outlaw gang...sorry motorcycle group. But would I want it as a lifestyle choice? Possibly not. It can't all be rosy and wonderful, there is lot of violence between gangs, criminal activity and FBI raids which can not contribute to a peaceful life, and I suppose there is a lot of security within my law abiding and regulated life!

This blog makes for an interesting, if not scary read!

A question - are these people Anarchists - I love this definition of anarchism - Anarchism... stands for liberation of the human mind from the dominion of religion; the liberation of the human body from the dominion of property; liberation from shackles and restraint of government. It stands for social order based on the free grouping of individuals (Emma Goldman) - stolen from the TV series Sons of Anarchy, a brilliant series on Fiver (damn, I should be paid advertising commission)...

I for one would love to be an anarchist (if only for a few months!)

Chocolate May Cause Violent Behaviour!!

Googling away looking for topics on bad behaviour, I came across this article - chocolate may sow seeds of bad behaviour, which, to sum it up, suggests that children who frequently consume chocolate and sweets every day are more likely to commit violent offences in adult life.

The only time I would consider violence and chocolate in the same topic of discussion are in the following circumstances.

1. I feel angry, I need chocolate to calm me down. I mite get violent otherwise.
2. Give me chocolate. Give me chocolate now or you will suffer pain of death.

Never would I have considered that supplying chocolate and sweets to your children would cause bad behaviour! The author is a medical journalist, with a PhD, surely she can be considered an expert?

I, however, think this article to be reckless and offensive.

The key section of this article suggests that the reason for this association maybe be of psychological factors rather than the physical reaction to the sugary demons. Apparently, if parents give chocolate to their children when ever they want, children will not learn about delayed gratification, and therefore become impulsive, and such a trait can lead to violence and delinquency. Therefore chocolate should be given as a treat...

Woah woah woah! Just hold on a minute! Surely other things can lead to this impulsive behaviour? Such as supplying presents, toys, games etc whenever a child (or a more frequent term - spoilt brat) demands it! Giving in to all requests and desires a child demands would lead to this so-called impulsive behaviour! I feel the researchers and the author if this article are putting too much responsibility and blame on chocolate and sweets, and, quite frankly, they should be ashamed at trying to tarnish the wonderful and delightful reputation that chocolate and other confectionary items so rightfully deserve!

In Response to Being Bad by Antonio

I completely agree with your opinion that lying is a necessity to defend our interests and to avoid harming the people we love. I also agreed with your view that lying is a part of human behaviour and is one of the characteristics of human intelligence. I would go one step further, and suggest that the ability to lie has enabled us to congregate and live in large societies. It allows for us to be amicable and to be liked, giving us an advantage and therefore makes surviving, and living in society easier...maybe an evolutionary mechanism?

This, even if it is one of my thoughts, sounded a bit dodgy and extreme, so I did what any person would do in a moment of confusion and intrigue...GOOGLE

And here is the product of googling 'evolutionary theory for lying'...Review of the book 'Why we lie: The evolutionary roots of deception and the unconscious mind'

Stealing, Theft and Shoplifting!

I really enjoyed this article Shoplifting: Compulsion, Crime or Misdemeanour?. Its interesting to see how different European countries deal with shoplifters...

It would appear the most common arguement is that it is more acceptable if people steal because they need to, for example, to support their families. Or a comparison between stealing from a large campany, and stealing from the public, a family for example.

I guess my opinion is this..

Large companies have been stealing for a long time. As they saying goes 'the rich get richer as the poor get poorer'.

Many companies exploit less economically developed countries, e.g. people in sweat shops, coffee farmers receiving extraordinary low incomes etc..

For example *A popular coffee shop* teamed up with Fairtrade in response to growing criticism from the public and campaigners who were fighting on behalf of coffee farmers struggling to meet the demand, but also receive very low rates of pay, suffer from exhaustion and poor health and live in poverty etc. But also in a response to the sharp decline in sales during the economic downturn, and to try to win back their consumers. Did they team up with Fairtrade for moral reasons? No. Due to growing pressure, and decreases in profits? Yes.

Why am I ranting about sweat shops and coffee farmers? Well I guess I don't feel too bad for the companies and large corporations who are stolen from. In fact, I think that £4 for a cup of coffee is day light robbery anyway! Its not as if companies would stop exploiting others if stealing stopped, they would just be overjoyed that their overall profits have increased. I think it is karma in a way...

I do feel that stealing from other people (e.g. burglary, mugging) is awful though. It isn't just the financial implications, but the invasion of privacy, sentimental value of things, trauma, and just the damn cheek of helping yourself to someone elses hard earned (assumed!) cash and belongings strikes a moral nerve with me!

Is my opinion wrong? Yes! of course it is. Is it balanced...well no, and I see the flaws and the hypocracy within it...but its what I think!

The On-Going Debate!

response...

I expect this could be a long on-going debate! =) I do see your point. Where do we stop? Legislate everything? No, but there certainly needs to be consideration of drug use(i.e. smoking, drugs and alcohol)as this has a direct impact - I would argue a similar case for alcohol consumption and the effects through Foetal Alcohol Syndrome etc...I would guess that the behaviour and choices of a pregnant woman would need to be assessed in terms of the level of direct impact and damage to the foetus (and indeed the expectant mother)and the level of risk.

Your example of anxiety or stress-related neurosis is not lifestyle choice, and I assume there is a lot of support for expectant mothers with mental health issues...if there is any risk towards the expectant mother and child, social services would intervene!

I would suggest that expectant mothers would not see it as punishment, but rather as support and help in protecting the health of their unborn child.

Thanks for the debate =)

In Response to a Response...!

In response to PH1000... is Being Blogged...

Firstly, I apologise, I don't think I made my point clear...when I stated '"A baby is a human being (obviously!) and will have the same rights as anyone else. This should not be any different just because he/she is in utero." I was trying to express my personal opinion in that a child DOES have the same rights as an adult (they are also protected by the human rights act hence social services etc.Indeed, parents have the responsibility of protecting and enforcing their children's rights, but if they do not do so properly, actions are taken to protect the child.), and I personally feel that just because a baby is in utero they shouldn't be dismissed from having the same rights. Especially in the last trimester of pregancy when a baby has a very high probability of survival if born prematurely, and, co-incidently, it is during this time when the effects of smoking have a more detrimental affect. I suppose this is down to personal opinion!


The above opinion is critical to my further arguement in that I also believe that 'the personal choice of the mother-to-be holds primacy over considerations of her unborn child's health-- and, I'm afraid, rightly so' goes against my personal opinion that this is not rightly so, I do not feel that personal liberties and choices should be held of higher worth and importance than the health and welfare of an unborn child. I feel that the principal of choice SHOULD be undermind if it is to the detriment of another being.

The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child states that: "The child, by reason of his physical and mental immaturity, needs special safeguards and care, including appropriate legal protection, before as well as after birth." (Declaration on the Rights of the Child,1959). Some of this is covered in this article. describing human rights, which set minimum entitlements and freedoms that should be respected by governments. They are founded on respect for the dignity and worth of each individual, regardless of birth status and therefore apply to every human being everywhere.

I don't feel the government do enough to protect unborn foetuses (I feel the urge to write foeti here!) from the effects of smoking during pregnancy. I suggested a compulsory 'stop smoking' course as it is not a punishment of the pregnant woman, like a fine would be, but it is clearly advocating the welfare and health of an unborn child.

'Mummy, Why Do Those Ladies Have No Clothes On?'

I thought I would raise the topic that has recently been in the media. A Home Office report has suggested that lad's magazines such as Nuts and Zoo should be raised to the top-shelf in shops, and should have age restrictions on purchasing them.

The study also addresses easily accessible pornography (including the internet) and also music videos, games and adverts that contain sexual images and references. The study indicates that all the above is sexualising children at an early age, and is influencing their behaviour.

I think such soft-porn magazines are controlled forms of sexual exploration for boys, and is far more controlled than many internet sites...boys will be boys and will access such material if they want to, would it not be better for them to buy these magazines than some of the easily accessible, uncontrolled sites on the net? Better the devil you know I say, so I wouldn't think a high age restriction would be appropriate. But it is also true to say that parents need to be vigilant while children are on the internet!

However, I do think that the magazines should be on a higher shelf. Wandering through a supermarket with my 3 year old son sat in the trolley looking for 'In The Night Garden' or 'Thomas the Tank Engine' kids magazines should not be interrupted by Zoo and Nuts and the like which are next to them. Its outrageous really, it is not appropriate and should be addressed.

What is also quite shocking are some of the childrens and babies clothes with sexual references on them. A bib with 'All Daddy Wanted Was A Blowjob' decorated on the front is ridiculous. An amusing adult joke, but entirely inappropriate for children. I think childrens clothes are often quite slutty - 8 year old girls wearing tops with 'Porn Star' printed on, and 'Play boy'...I don't think is acceptable. Sexual liberation and freedom is a good thing indeed...but have we gone too far where we feel it is acceptable for our children to dress themselves in this way, and for it to be OK for very young children to be exposed to sexual representations within the media?

It is no wonder that children and teenagers have distorted views on how both men and women should look and behave, if the representations they see from an early age is of porn stars and air-brushed models.

Getting rid of all these is not the answer, nor is it practical. There should be government schemes which encourage self-acceptance, confidence and self-esteem within schools, and acceptance of other people. It is refreshing that many magazines now feature 'real' men and women in articles, but it is clearly not enough.

A response!

In response to Speak Your Mind! regarding smoking whilst pregnant - I have similar views.

I am pretty much of the opinion where I am both disappointed and disgusted with those who smoke whilst pregnant, and I also feel that the government should step in. I am not sure if fining pregnant women who smoke is the best way to do this, but may be a compulsory NHS Quit Smoking course? I am usually quite reasonable and am open to altering my opinions following other peoples view point - but on this subject I feel quite strongly.

A baby is a human being (obviously!) and will have the same rights as anyone else. This should not be any different just because he/she is in utero. When a woman is pregnant, she has a duty to protect and nurture her child - even before birth. As adults we can make the choice whether to smoke or not, whereas a developing baby is vulnerable to the choices their creator is making, and they should have a voice to represent their needs - the NHS and government! Yes, people should be free to do with their bodies as they want - but not at the expense of someone else. A baby is not just an 'addition' to the body of the mother, it is a separate and dependant person and should be regarded as such. It is a commitment to develop and subsequently raise a baby - to stop smoking is one of the many difficult tasks a pregnant woman should face! It has a direct bad influence on your child.
Many women accept the challenges of pregnancy, dietary changes, alcohol intake, folic acid...so they should!

Having and raising a child is a full time job with large responsibilities - this should start at the beginning of pregnancy!


I refer to 4 years ago when I was pregnant. I was lucky as I am a non-smoker and so I didn't have to face the difficult challenge of giving up - however my partner was. He loved smoking, bless him. Never wanted to quit and loved every cigarette he puffed away at. But as soon as WE were expecting, his views changed. Initially he carried on smoking, but refused to smoke any where near me. Pre-pregnancy, he smoked in the garden, but pregnancy influence caused an insistence that this was not enough, and instead went for a walk round the block instead! He was then horrified when he was informed by the midwife that the smoke clings to your clothes for at least half an hour, and I could still passive smoke - next came the 'outdoors, round-the-block smoking hoodie' only to be worn in times of cigarette usage and must be kept in the porch! I tell you no lies! Eventually he gave up,and this benefited everyone...

Have a read of the following article...Why Quit

Ooohh! Masturbation! There are two types of people on this earth, Liars and Wankers...

Google 'masturbation', and you will find a link to a site that explains how masturbation is very bad and immoral, and should be avoided at all times! Oh dear...how outdated!

Disappointingly, there are not many sites supporting this claim, hardly anything for me to drag onto the blog to scrutinize and rubbish. Instead there are many medical and health forums offering advice, additionally, there are forums on sex and relationships, news reports and scientific studies (e.g.'masturbation cuts cancer risk) and even youtube clips giving advice, inc. directions, with visual aids, on how to masturbate more succesfully!

Feeling pretty unimpressed with the lack of bigoted, frigid views on this subject, I then stumbled across this amusing website, promoting 'masturbate for peace' which indicates just how comfortable people are with not only discussing the subject, but finding humour and fun with promoting it.

The internet surely has had a large impact on how society views masturbation. The internet is a large source of information, offering advice and information in a 'repectable' and mature fashion, to the humourous and satirical websites. I think the internet doesn't allow many things to be taboo anymore...good!

So, suggestions for week 12?

Maybe a day trip to Amsterdam? Its all bad there...

But things more practical, like a day trip to Alton Towers, or just few hours in a public house. =)

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive!!

The fundamental reason why people lie is because it mostly works

Does it? Hell yes...I like the link link above and the little description of why we lie.

Consider this scenario..

'Babe, does this dress make me look fat?'
'No Hun, you look great! Actually you look damn sexy ...'

Hmmm...

or the truthful answer...

'No, hun, the dress doesn't make you look fat. The fat clingling on your hips makes you look fat. I thought you had to cut down on the calories rather than just 'count' them, and your fatter than when we first met...you could just wear the other dress that fits you'

Now here is a good example as to why lying benefits both the liar and the gullible.
She feels great, and happy with herself. He is still alive and well, and his chances of getting laid later on have dramatically increased...

Its simple really, we all lie, and all things considered, we probably like and benefit from being lied to in some situations.

It sounds an outrageous suggestion, but if we constantly heard about it every time someone didn't like what we say, told us how they really feel, how THAT dress was a complete abomination, and that hair cut was a butcher job, we probably wouldn't leave the house through low self-esteem and motivation, and probably a lack of friends. We rely on compliments and support from friends and family, and when we are given the alternative 'reality check', we often don't like it!

And as for lying to others, well we all do it! Its fundamental to maintain any relationship! And I don't mean the great dirty, deceptive lies. Its the compliments that you don't whole-heartedly mean, it's the little negative comments that you ignore and replace with complimentary niceties.

Smoking's a Drag... !!

I am no advocate for health and wellbeing...far from it...I unashamedly enjoy binge drinking, indulge in junk food and certainly don't do enough exercise...but I prefer to abuse and intoxicate my mind and matter on my terms, through my choices , when I choose too, with some entertaining, enjoyable experiences! I have no enjoyment or benefit from breathing in the remnants of the nicotine based indulgence through passive smoking, I much prefer not to be able to see the air I breathe.

'Back in the day' when smoking was permitted in clubs and pubs, not only would I have to contend with the after effects of alcohol through sickness and headaches, but I would have to endure sore eyes, smelly hair and clothes, and the memory of how horrible it was to be in a smoke fueled atmosphere. Banning smoking in such places has encouraged me to go out more than I used to (as it is a far more enjoyable experience since I can now breathe sufficiently in the club) therefore drinking more than I used to, so, indirectly, banning smoking has caused a non-smoker to drink more alcohol!

Smoking on the 'Big Screen', coupled with a sexy, bold, charismatic movie icon does glamourise the 'filthy habit'...but don't be fooled, you will not be as glamourous and seductive after inhaling on a pack of Benson & Hedges! The image of a 40 year old, looks 60, yellow teeth, hoarse voice surrounded in a cloud of smoke, self-produced by choking out fumes like a chevrolet suburban does not conjure up images of Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn! I hear the smokers crying out..I don't look like this! Maybe true...but neither do you look like Johnny Depp (and if you do...it's not due to smoking!)...


On a serious note, smoking in movies has dramatically dropped since the 1950's - it is far less socially accepted these days due to the scientific and medical influences in society...but damn them! Who are they to dictate to society what is and is not acceptable! Smokers, enjoy the cigars! Chain smoke the marlboro (marlboro lights - lets advocate a healthy lifestyle...ha!)

Looking at the module guide, it is clear as to why the Being Bad class is quite large. A module guide that highlights Drugs, Masturbation, Infidelity and Tattoos & Body Modification as subject topics is guaranteed to draw interest...

Asking the students to write down, anonymously, things they have done that may be considered as wrong or bad, that we believe to be wrong or bad, or may have serious consequences, was a very amusing task. Admittedly, my own admission to stealing a number of *popular coffee shop* mugs and the odd occasion with weed seemed quite mild if not pathetic when compared to other students declarations of incest and horse shootings. But it has to be questioned as to whether some took the opportunity to distort the truth…can we really believe that someone had ‘sexy time’ with their sister? Our reactions to these ‘bad things’ were of shock, horror and amusement, but when questioned ‘why is incest bad?’ people were struggling to answer. We KNOW/BELEIVE its bad behaviour, but ‘cos it is’ doesn’t seem a sufficient answer.

I am hoping that we are given the opportunity to question what society dictates as bad, and to test our own beliefs and judgements. Even though opinions won’t necessarily be changed, it is valuable to understand and question rather than to accept things on face value.

After the introductory lecture, I am, other than a self-confessed geek, looking forward to the rest of the module…

Bit of a small read..but maybe bad behaviour is rooted in our genes? Hmm.Doubt it mate!